Ash Hekkens
Auckland
@mama.ash.x
Tell me about your family and where you are based
Rural gal meets city fringe boy over their love of drum and bass music, fast forward 10 years and they are a little family of four living in their own home in the west of Auckland, dreaming of our next family home.
What is a typical day like in your house?
Nic being a tradie is gone before we surface for the day, then along with the sun coming up a beautifully chaotic house of laughter and chatter ignites. I juggle breastfeeding, dressing, teeth cleaning, outfits, bed making, games, listening to daily plans, hair brushing, bunny finding, dancing, coffee and making sure a passionate independent 3.9 year old and a wriggly on the move 11m old are ready for the day ahead (oh and myself at least be presentable haha!) I do the daycare drop (Whilst listening to my little pony on repeat) grab a second coffee and try and keep the little one awake till we get home. Then my current chapter in life is consumed by feeding, napping and playing with Grey.
Oh and like most mamas I play “fairy” making sure the household runs and everyone’s things are ready when they need, it’s like a turn down service for them on the daily 😜
What's your best childhood memory?
Dancing around the living room with my mum to the spice girls, beaming smiles, laughter and feeling like it was the best thing in the world. It’s something that now as an adult I feel so happy thinking about and I do this with my children too hoping to radiate the same warmth and love.
What was the first year of motherhood like for you?
a beautiful, challenging, emotional wild ride. Finding myself as a mama and experiencing everything for a first time with its ups, downs and everything in between is rewarding but exhausting. And just learning to feel the feelings and trust you are all those little ones need is a huge chapter in any parents life. I felt a love I never knew existed, I was the most scared I have ever been, I truely cared for someone more than my life itself, learnt lessons I didn’t know I needed teaching and found strength and power I didn’t know I had to push through. But the first hold, smile, giggle, step, fall, illness it’s all part of our story and it was the best year of my life.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given to arm you as you navigate motherhood or that you can pass on?
TRUST YOUR GUT - especially as a first time parent! We are hardwired to our babies and you will FEEL what is best for them, let them guide you and you then and you will work best as a little team.
And also be kind to yourself - even on your worst day you are the best thing in the world to that little babe
What’s one thing as a mum you cannot live without?
my kids! I actually don’t know what home used to feel like without them, I love the chaos of raising a family and always having a little bestie beside me I feel lost without them. Oh and also coffee, coffee helps haha!
What was the hardest thing about becoming a mum?
When people ask me this it’s a double edged sword for me - both “losing myself” but “finding myself” too 🤎
In the early days amongst the unknown territory, hormones, sleep deprivation a part of me felt like I had lost Ash and was just mama, I wanted a day of “normal” but as I found my feet I realised I found the true Ash -I have never felt more like myself since being a mama, my main attributes and loves pre kids are still there just expressed in different forms and my centre or my why has just shifted ♥️ I love who I am for them, for us and I’m so thankful for the hard times that guided me there.
How do you take time out for yourself without children?
I am not very good at this haha! When I do finally do it I love a massage to treat myself (and my poor body from lugging Grey around haha) or to simply have a coffee alone at a cafe or a bath while everyone is out or asleep.
If you are a working mum how do you ensure you balance this?
I am currently on maternity leave but usually a corporate mom too and the honest answer is I don’t actually think it is ever truely balanced. One side of the scale is always tipping but seems to correct itself before it actually tips. That constant feeling of always “letting someone down” doesn’t ever go away for me but I have learnt that overall I’m doing amazing at both and it’s for our future so I keep going. if I’m more work mom one week then another I’m more mom mom and that’s ok. I am very lucky to have a flexible workplace and team that help me ensure my family is always my priority too which I am so grateful for!
What is it you wanted to portray in your Instagram feed? Or wanted to share with others?
my page started as a journey to document my pregnancy and becoming a first time mama alongside my weekly blog, to share the thoughts that popped into my head - good, bad, scary, exciting, it all and now it’s still that space but on a larger scale just following mom life and my little beauty’s and their moments in small squares ♥️
What do you love about the FBK products?
Firstly the personalisation, I have always been obsessed with personalisation and think it’s something beautiful that makes simple things so special. I love the range that has this ability.
Secondly the love that goes into all the products and the beauty behind their style, seeing this through IG makes them so much more special in my home.
